Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Biggest Debacle Ever {part 3}

Here we go, the grand finale of the biggest debacle ever. Hopefully you've read part 1  and part 2, otherwise you may not understand the full ridiculousness of the situation. 

Friday morning comes and I go to Draper to pick up the puppy. Dylan went to work with Ben, so it was just me picking up the puppy.

Everything went fine with the pickup- the puppy was adorable and sweet, and we headed straight for Ben's work so the boys could meet the puppy. As to be expected, both Ben and Dylan were elated with the puppy and declared it the best present ever. 

Meet Hogan.
A seriously cute ball of fur.

Dylan, Hogan, and I headed home to get Hogan settled in at our house. As to be expected in this pitiful tale, this is what happened five minutes after walking in the door:
That would be the glass top of our coffee table. Dylan was trying to throw a bone to Hogan, but his aim was a little off. 

Our first day with Hogan was great, but exhausting. Taking him outside every 30-45 minutes, keeping an eye on him at all times, etc... it was more stressful than I anticipated. Even so, I wasn't going to gripe- this was Ben's present, and taking care of this puppy was something I just had to do. 

Then came the night. Holy cow, I forgot how awful a howling puppy can sound. Ben and I (and Hogan) barely slept that night. 

The next day was full of taking Hogan outside every 2 seconds, more keeping my eye on him every minute (because the second I'm not looking at him he will pee on my carpet or poo in Dylan's room). It was not a restful time.  And then night came again. More howling, less sleep. 

I could go on and on about this, but the bottom line was this: Ben and I were both super stressed out by this puppy. We knew puppies were a lot of work, but it took getting a puppy to realize that we were not wanting to put the work into a pet.

So 48 hours after getting the puppy we came to a conclusion: Hogan had to go. We were both so stressed out by the puppy that we were miserable. We posted an ad for him on by Sunday night. I know! Worst pet owners ever! We couldn't even handle a week!

A few days later we found a great new home for Hogan and we said goodbye to our little friend. 

Luckily we sold the puppy for what I paid, and we also sold the new owner a bunch of the barely used gear and food. 

We've gone over the situation over and over again- What if we would have given everyone more time to get used to the puppy? What if we waited for Hogan to get used to sleeping in his crate?

Poor Dylan asks about "my Hogan" every single day. We keep telling him that he lives with his mommy and daddy, and we only babysat him for a few days, but he's not forgetting about Hogan. Sad.

That's the long, drawn-out story. The time I spent months planning the perfect surprise for my husband, ended up ruining the surprise the day before it happened, and watched the surprise backfire in our faces. 

Happy birthday Jesus Benjamin, sorry your party present was so lame.
(that's one of my favorite quotes from The Office.)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Biggest Debacle Ever {part 2}

An alternative title for this post could be "I have the worst luck ever" or "Of all the times and the places." Read on to see why...

Hopefully, you all have read part one of this giant birthday debacle. So you know that I have bitten the bullet and finally decided to get a dog for Ben, despite really not wanting one. The puppy was available for pickup on Friday morning, so on Thursday afternoon I made my way to PetsMart to pick up everything one could possibly need for a puppy. I paid for the whole thing in cash, because I needed to keep things secret- no way was I letting Ben in on his big, secret birthday surprise. 

I left PetsMart $200 poorer, and I was feeling like a pretty good wife. Ben was so excited about his darn surprise and he was going to die of happiness when all was revealed. I even had a grand plan as to how I was going to surprise him. I was going to put the puppy in a large box (ventilated, of course) and bring it to him at work. He would open the box and find an adorable puppy with a ribbon tied around its neck. Ben would then become teary eyed due to the thoughtfulness of this gift and declare me the best wife ever. Sigh.

Somewhere in the midst of my fantasizing I had left the store and began loading all of the stuff into my trunk. Without thinking (seriously- there was no intelligence in this action whatsoever), I ended up loading my purse into my trunk as well. I will call this Mistake #1. I then made an even bigger mistake (called Mistake #2) and shut my trunk. 

Yes, you read correctly, I shut my purse- which contained my keys and phone- in my trunk. I immediately knew the idiocy of my actions, and I may have started yelling, "No, no, no, no" in the parking lot. Maybe. 

A kind young mom saw me a few cars down and asked me if I needed help. I explained what I had done and she offered to let me use her phone. I weighed the options. I could either break into my car myself (which would involve me breaking a window- no joke) or calling Ben. I didn't want to pay for a new window, so I swallowed my pride and called Ben at work. 

This is how the phone call went:

Me: Benjamin, I locked my keys in my car. 

Ben: Ok, where are you? I'll come help you out.

Me: I can't tell you that. Can you just have one of your co-workers come out and help me?

Ben: Why would I do that? Where are you?

Me: I can't tell you. It would ruin the surprise. Can you please send someone out besides you? Pleaaaaaaase?

Ben: No way, woman. 

Me: You're horrible to make me ruin your surprise like this. Horrible. 

Honestly, if I had my phone I would have spent much more time bargaining with him. Since I was borrowing a stranger's phone, I had to give in. It was a soul crushing decision to be honest. 

Me: Fine. I'm in the PetsMart parking lot. Thanks for ruining my life. 

Seriously, of all the times and all the places in the world for me to lock my keys in my car for the first time ever, why did it have to be here? The one time in our marriage when I was being truly sneaky and I didn't want my husband to know my whereabouts?

A few minutes later, Ben pulled up and I immediately burst into tears. So much time and energy had been spent keeping this darn secret and now I had ruined it less than 24 hours before I was to pick up the puppy. Worst. Luck. Ever.

Ben isn't a dummy- he connected the dots in about 2 seconds and wouldn't stop asking about the puppy. In fact, here's a look at some of our texts later that day. Obviously I was still angry:

Really husband? I get you a puppy and the only names you'll consider are stupid golfy names? I think I just threw up. 

So there you have it. The time when I ruined Ben's birthday surprise. If you can possibly imagine, the story just gets more pitiful. Just wait. 

Part 3 is coming up.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Ben Turns 30 + The Biggest Debacle Ever {part 1}.

September was a really big month for our family- Lake Powell, Dylan's birthday, and Ben's birthday. This year was a big one for Ben- he turned 30! Ben and Dylan's birthdays are just one day apart, so you know how exhausted and non-party oriented I was feeling for Dylan's birthday? I was feeling the same for Ben's. That didn't bother Ben much though- he made it clear that he did not want a party. And what my baby wants, my baby gets.... or doesn't get. 

Ben had a great day- special meals all day, some gifts, and this cake sent straight from heaven... or maybe it was from The Chocolate. No one knows for sure. What we do know is that it was amazing, and I was truly bummed when he took the remains to work a few days later to share with his co-workers.

Since Ben was turning 30, I wanted to do something big and fabulous for his birthday. I racked my brain for awhile to figure out a perfect present for such a monumental birthday. I decided that after nearly 8 years of begging and whining, I would get Ben a puppy. He has wanted one for our entire marriage, and I've always said, "Not now." 

Please don't think that I had a change of heart about getting a puppy. Still didn't want one at all. I figured that this was a true gift- a sacrifice even- if I was going to get Ben something that I really, really didn't want. Mind you, I knew that if we got a puppy it would eventually grow on me and I would love it. Just the idea of starting the whole process made me a little miserable. 

I had to be extremely sneaky about the whole operation, as Ben is a notorious snoop. All puppy research had to be done on my work computer. For months he asked about his surprise and I refused to give anything away. 

About a month and a half before his birthday I found a listing for the most adorable puppies- half golden retriever, half border collie. After talking to a million people and doing a lot of research, that mix seemed to be perfect for what we were looking for. I talked to the owner, paid for the puppy, and waited until Ben's birthday. 

The puppy was not ready to leave his mom on Ben's actual birthday, so I hyped Ben up for a surprise a few days after his birthday. Everything was going according to plan until the day before I picked up the puppy. 

That's when disaster struck. 

To Be Continued...
(and yes, you really want to know what happens next.... it's ridiculous)