An alternative title for this post could be "I have the worst luck ever" or "Of all the times and the places." Read on to see why...
Hopefully, you all have read part one of this giant birthday debacle. So you know that I have bitten the bullet and finally decided to get a dog for Ben, despite really not wanting one. The puppy was available for pickup on Friday morning, so on Thursday afternoon I made my way to PetsMart to pick up everything one could possibly need for a puppy. I paid for the whole thing in cash, because I needed to keep things secret- no way was I letting Ben in on his big, secret birthday surprise.
I left PetsMart $200 poorer, and I was feeling like a pretty good wife. Ben was so excited about his darn surprise and he was going to die of happiness when all was revealed. I even had a grand plan as to how I was going to surprise him. I was going to put the puppy in a large box (ventilated, of course) and bring it to him at work. He would open the box and find an adorable puppy with a ribbon tied around its neck. Ben would then become teary eyed due to the thoughtfulness of this gift and declare me the best wife ever. Sigh.
Somewhere in the midst of my fantasizing I had left the store and began loading all of the stuff into my trunk. Without thinking (seriously- there was no intelligence in this action whatsoever), I ended up loading my purse into my trunk as well. I will call this Mistake #1. I then made an even bigger mistake (called Mistake #2) and shut my trunk.
Yes, you read correctly, I shut my purse- which contained my keys and phone- in my trunk. I immediately knew the idiocy of my actions, and I may have started yelling, "No, no, no, no" in the parking lot. Maybe.
A kind young mom saw me a few cars down and asked me if I needed help. I explained what I had done and she offered to let me use her phone. I weighed the options. I could either break into my car myself (which would involve me breaking a window- no joke) or calling Ben. I didn't want to pay for a new window, so I swallowed my pride and called Ben at work.
This is how the phone call went:
Me: Benjamin, I locked my keys in my car.
Ben: Ok, where are you? I'll come help you out.
Me: I can't tell you that. Can you just have one of your co-workers come out and help me?
Ben: Why would I do that? Where are you?
Me: I can't tell you. It would ruin the surprise. Can you please send someone out besides you? Pleaaaaaaase?
Ben: No way, woman.
Me: You're horrible to make me ruin your surprise like this. Horrible.
Honestly, if I had my phone I would have spent much more time bargaining with him. Since I was borrowing a stranger's phone, I had to give in. It was a soul crushing decision to be honest.
Me: Fine. I'm in the PetsMart parking lot. Thanks for ruining my life.
Seriously, of all the times and all the places in the world for me to lock my keys in my car for the first time ever, why did it have to be here? The one time in our marriage when I was being truly sneaky and I didn't want my husband to know my whereabouts?
A few minutes later, Ben pulled up and I immediately burst into tears. So much time and energy had been spent keeping this darn secret and now I had ruined it less than 24 hours before I was to pick up the puppy. Worst. Luck. Ever.
Ben isn't a dummy- he connected the dots in about 2 seconds and wouldn't stop asking about the puppy. In fact, here's a look at some of our texts later that day. Obviously I was still angry:
Really husband? I get you a puppy and the only names you'll consider are stupid golfy names? I think I just threw up.
So there you have it. The time when I ruined Ben's birthday surprise. If you can possibly imagine, the story just gets more pitiful. Just wait.
Part 3 is coming up.